Please excuse the fact that I'm not wearing makeup, but I still love this photo of me and my BFF Alicia (with another bun in the oven, at the time) and our girls, last summer. We have disagreed, argued, gone days without speaking to each other. But we are always-and-forever friends. We've gone years without seeing each other, but always pick up as though we still live across the street. And I treasure her so.
Do you ever want to quit friendships? Whatever your answer, you're probably thinking that's an awful way to begin a blog post. And maybe it is. But I'm going to be honest here and say that, sometimes, I want to quit friendships. Sadly, I don't think women grow out of the Mean Girls years of middle and high school. We all have problems with our girlfriends, don't we? Isn't that why the great majority of women say that they don't get along with other women? That they prefer "the guys." Cancelled plans, immaturity, hurt feelings -- they are the plagues of friendships between women.
Something I'm learning, though, is that we do have a choice. A couple of months ago, this quotation popped up in my Twitter feed:
If you meet someone whose soul is not aligned with yours, send them love and move along.
I often find myself struggling in friendships. I rake myself over the proverbial coals, wondering how I can change all the things about myself that I'm worried annoy my new friends. I talk too much. I'm a know-it-all. I'm blunt. Well, though I have learned to tone myself down a bit (I think), it's impossible to change who I am at my core. Why do I try? Why do I frustrate myself in this way? Self-improvement in the reflection of Christ is righteous. Self-deprecation is soul-crushing.
I want to honor God, and myself, in friendship. And, after a time, it's okay if that means stepping away, wishing someone the very best, and moving on. It's okay to thank God for placing that person in your life for a season, and to realize that season has ended.
God wants us to love others as we love ourselves, but I don't believe He wants us to make the choice of putting our emotional well-being at stake for the sake of saving face ... because we feel like we have to.
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." - 1 Corinthians 15:33
True friendship is valuable beyond measure. True friendship is love. Choose your friends wisely, and be a blessing to them.
A friend loves at all times ... - Proverbs 17:17